Wednesday, September 5, 2007

one more reason to be a stay at home mom...


i was looking for something on my computer and ran across this. a letter i wrote to kymora when she turned 1. i did this for 3 years and just stopped. i want to try and start it up again and compile all the letters for her 18th bday.

this letter was definitely a blast from the past. it made me sad to think of how fast she is growing up. how much time i've lost with both of my kids...

mihan is right. 'working mom' is such an oxymoron.



June 27, 2003


Dear Kymora,


Wow, what a year it has been. Today, you are a year old. I have decided that every year until you are 18, to write you a letter recording what you have done the past year. I hope that this tradition will be passed on to your children someday so that we can share something special between us as mothers, with our children.

On this day, last year, you were born to your dad and me. I can remember it like it happened yesterday. My belly was HUGE. I had gained 45 lbs in my 10th month. You weren’t supposed to come out until July 4, 2002. I remember everyone was calling you the July 4th baby, or the Independence Day baby. And I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was going to have a little girl. I know it sounds silly, but I knew. I got your name from a beautiful model that was half Japanese. Her name is Kimora Lee. I really liked her name and she was pretty, so I thought it fit. Your dad liked it cause it was unusual, so it stuck. As the LOOONG 10 months rolled around I became 195 lbs. Isn’t that big??? I have to admit, anak, I did NOT like being pregnant. I couldn’t sleep and I always threw up. It just wasn’t fun, but it was well worth it.

Well, the day came. On Thursday, June 27, my water broke at 5:45 a.m. I thought I was going to go pee in the morning, but I couldn’t stop, so at the moment, I KNEW. I ran to our room and woke up your dad. Your poor dad had just gotten off of work at 4:00 a.m.
So, I jumped in the shower and your dad falls asleep again. I yell,”Muleu, get up! My water broke!” He says, “Are you SURE?!” Well, he gets up, I call your Lola and Lolo and they call all of Daisy, who then meets me at Long Beach Memorial Hospital.

My gosh, Kymora, you should have seen all the people who came to see you. Your Lola, Lolo, Great Lola Delia, Tita Gea, Tita Leah, Tita Beth, Auntie Royal, Tita Ellen, Uncle Marvin, Ate April, Ate Malea, Ate Arianne, Kuya Nick, Auntie Fer, Grandma, Ninong Jason, Auntie Eileen—they all came! They all wanted to greet you coming into this world. Your Tita Lenie, Lola, and Daddy were in the delivery room coaching me.

I was in labor for 12 hours, but pushed you out in about 15 minutes. You were born at 6:45 p.m. Kymora, you were so tiny. You weighed 7 lbs and 2 ounces and were 201/2 inches long. You had so much hair, like I did when I was born. You were beautiful from the moment I saw you. All the pain, all the tiredness went away when they put you in my arms. Your dad and I were so happy that you were healthy.

I never knew that I could love someone so much. It was an instant feeling, like I’ve known you all my life. You were so fragile, and small. I was scared to change your diaper in the hospital. The first night you slept with me in the hospital, I can remember smiling. I couldn’t even sleep cause I was so worried that I might hurt you. I just watched you lay there in complete peace, sleeping. I knew that I was about to discover something special about being a mother.

You came home 2 days later to a house full of people. At this time we live a two-bedroom apartment in Long Beach. Our house was filled with cousins, aunts, grandparents, uncles and friends. They all brought food, gifts, cards, flowers. Your cousins cleaned the house and put balloons and “WELCOME KYMORA” signs up. Everyone was just so excited to meet you.

The first night we had you alone was nerve wrecking. You cried every hour because you were hungry and I was not producing enough milk when I breast-fed you. Your dad and I were so nervous. We didn’t get much rest, but now that we talk about it, it was a funny experience.

Through out your first month, you established a feeding time and a sleeping time, which made things easier for me. You were such a good baby. You hardly cried and you slept a lot. I stayed home with you for the first eight months of your life. It was during this time I got really close and attached to you. You used to like your swing, but would only stay in it for a short period of time. You LOVED your car seat. You would sleep, eat, and sit in it any time. Granted, we did not leave you in it for long periods at a time (wink).

As time progressed you got bigger and bigger. You were so tall. Everyone thought you were older than you really were. You sat up at 6 months, grew your two bottom teeth at 7 months, crawled at 8, took your first steps at 9months and fully walked by the time you were 11 months.

Kymora, you are such a funny baby. You love to say “da-da”, “mooom”, “ohh” and my favorite, “oh wooow.” I love it when you say that. You dance to anything. Rap, reggae, soul, Samoan music and even this little Snail toy you have that makes music when you push it. You bend your knees and move your butt like no tomorrow. I also call you “La Lengua” meaning, “The tongue” cause YOU LICK EVERYTHING. It’s so funny cause you don’t just put things in your mouth; you lick the walls, the windows, the gate, the T.V., the entertainment unit—everything. You are so full of energy and life. My favorite part of the day is at night. I love putting you to sleep. You always turn to face me to kiss me and hug me. When it’s that time of the day, I look forward to lying with you. You make everything I am going through disappear at night. All my stress from work, or irritation is gone when I am looking at you. You remind me how important life is to me, because I have to take care of you. I can watch you sleep for hours, I can hold you in my arms for days, and I can hug and kiss you forever. You are so important to me, Kymora.

I am glad we have a special relationship. I am glad that it is just the beginning for us as mother and daughter. I had such a wonderful experience with you this past year.

This year has taught me so much. I have learned that nothing is more important to me than you. Your well-being, your happiness, your safety, your freedom. You have taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. In return, I want to teach you to be a strong, self sufficient, smart, witty, empathetic, charismatic, free, responsible, loving woman.
I want you to know from an early age that you can do anything you want to do in life. You can achieve anything. Enjoy other cultures, music, art, and comedy—above all life. We will learn a lot from each other, and I can’t wait to go through all these experiences with you.

Kymora, you have brought such pleasure and joy to my life. I love every day I am with you. I look forward to every birthday we spend together.

So, Happy Birthday, my baby!! I love you so much!

Love Always,
Mommy



8 comments:

jamie said...

i LOVE THIS LETTER!!!! you wrote it so well. sniff. it's so sweet. she's goign to love it.
and can i have those pics back? lol my photoshop skills needed some help back then. :)

jamie said...

oh and
----this little Snail toy you have that makes music when you push it.----
awwwwww
:)

kater :) said...

did you have to make me CRY? i love it auts! i jus might have to steal that idea.

...and then... said...

I agree with Katy...Can I steal that idea! Who ever knew that you were such a sappy gal! :) Kyks is so lucky to have you as her mom!

Andrea said...

it gave me goose bumps reading it again. it is a nice tradition that you are establishing. i almost forgot some of the things she used to do until i read it in your letter. you're a good mom, auts. so nice to see you grow into the woman you are today. and you're a great sister too. :)

mama mi'an said...

well, she got the witty part down plus some! good job auts. if lil ky grows up and makes me laugh as much as you do... pag-pag your hands, cus your job is done.

Celestine said...

this is, by far, my favorite entry of all time (:

Jenn said...

awww..LOVE the letter idea! ky is gunna love it too once she reads it :)
i think i got kyk's the lil snail toy that makes music when you push it :)